It’s almost Christmas folks! EXCITATION!!! This is such a fun time of year for little ones…especially when they are finally old enough to GET IT! The anticipation of Santa the night before and the look of pure unadulterated joy on their faces as they see what presents await them is simply priceless.

My husband and I decided long before kids that we wouldn’t go for broke during Christmas when our child 1. would not remember and 2. would much rather play with boxes and wrapping. Call us Mr. & Mrs. Scrooge if you must, but those are just the rules in our house. I believe this Christmas, at 3 years of age, we are in our final year of getting away with totally ignoring the “Best Gift Guides” and trashing the “Wish List Books” from the major toy makers. I will admit, I did browse through a few before recycling them. I found some toys that I instantly knew would NOT find their way under our tree. I don’t think Katelyn will miss these gifts. After all, when Santa asked her what she wanted for Christmas her reply was simply “presents.” When he asked her what kind of presents, she elaborated with “hmmm. pink and yellow presents!”

disclaimer: this is in no way a judgment piece. if you bought any of these gifts for your little ones more power to you. this is simply our humorous rationale for opting out this year!

1.  Playdoh – I know. I know. This is an American favorite. Arrest us. Playdoh is wonderful for imagination play and developing fine motor skills. I know this. But I CAN NOT/WILL NOT do any more playdoh for a long while. Katelyn LOVES to create with playdoh. However, have you tried to clean this mess up? We excitedly bought 10 containers in various colors (all of which have been subsequently mixed together now) a few months back. I did NOT remember that playdoh easily breaks off into smaller pieces and can become nicely smooshed into surfaces like carpets or sofas when little hands and little feet pay no attention to the pieces left behind. It also nicely crumbles when it hardens. The last time she played with playdoh I made her go on the patio to avoid the aftermath. I am praying no one gifts a playdoh set this Christmas!                                                                         
2. Lalaloopsy Diaper Surprise – The name should suggest the reason this lovely gift was left off. If you guessed that this doll “magically poops charms” you would be correct! You feed it water. Press the belly a few times. You wait to see what surprise jewel is left in the diaper. Whaaaaa?!? Who thought this was a good idea? Frankly, I’ve worked too damn hard at potty training to have some doll undo it all. I can so see my child thinking her poop is “magical” and trying to find the charms hidden within. They are VERY literal at this age. NO THANK YOU MA’AM! We will stick to the lalaloopsy cartoons for now.

3. Snow Glow Elsa – This is probably blasphemous to even type, let alone say aloud. But you did read that correctly. We did not buy the Snow Glow Elsa doll that flew off the shelves. It’s been a year since our little one caught the Frozen bug and we are STILL in love with anything Frozen. We are on Frozen overload. The movie is still on heavy rotation. She has become quite the contemporary dancer to all of the now infamous songs. Snow Glow Elsa belts out “Let it Go” for some sing along fun and unfortunately dad and I are one verse away from losing it. Maybe for her 4^th birthday. Maybe.

4. Miller Goodman Play Shapes – NOT IN MY HOUSE! This is a gift you give the girlfriend who pissed you off at the last play date because she threw shade on your snacks. This lovely item has SEVENTY-FRIGGIN-FOUR pieces. The website describes it as “a modular set of geometric wooden shapes which can be endlessly arranged or stacked to produce hundreds of 3D creations for any age”. That’s code for you will forever be searching for and picking up these pieces all over your house and car (because they will grow legs and end up there). I am most certain Miller Goodman has a back end deal with Zoloft since he is cleverly marketing this to all ages; which would include toddlers. Toddlers who by design lose focus mid-way through the Clean Up song and love to hide things in random places or leave them in the middle of the floor for you to step on at 1:30am on your way to the bathroom. Sooo…let’s recap. Pay Miller Goodman $150 (retail price) for 74 wooden pieces sure to drive me crazy at twice the speed I’m already traveling. I do declare…I think not. We’re going to hold off on this purchase til she can at least count to 74 and help me pick up all the pieces.

5. American Girl Doll – I read the best review on American Girl dolls not too long ago. I believe it was on Amazon. The customer (a dad) said, “there is a sucker born every minute, and each of them are out there buying American Girl dolls.” I howled when I read this. I did NOT have an American Girl Doll as a child. I don’t think my mom had even heard of this doll. And even if she had she wouldn’t have been able to afford it. My hubby and I are fortunate enough to be able to afford one but just can’t bring ourselves to actually purchase. Not even the bitty baby that is the supposed “starter doll”. It just seems like an unreasonable price for the treatment my lil Katelyn will bestow upon her sorta kinda wax look-alike. Have you been to the website or to an actual store? The marketing is genius!!! Clothes, hair, even lunch with your doll. Wow! And the doll itself has more special care instructions than a newborn baby. I know it’s probably unrealistic but I’m hoping Katelyn won’t find out about American Girl Dolls any time soon. Or at least before someone “gifts” it to her. LOL. Somehow we already receive the catalog which I surely did not sign up for. American Girl Doll has a contract with hospitals to get your contact info the minute you birth a baby girl! You didn’t know? That or one of my friends doesn’t love me and added me to a mailing list. Either way I scurry to hide the thing before she can see it. I’m going to consider 2014 another success in that we escaped the American Girl trap I mean allure. I’m not saying I won’t ever  buy one (I too could be a sucker)…it just didn’t make the cut this year.

What gifts did you skip on this year? What toys did made it? I would love to hear from you. Leave me a comment.